She smiled and said, “How about a kilt.”The thought had never occurred to me but now I was in on the no underpants train too. The day of the interviews was going to be fun. Even if we didn’t find a new partner we still would get super horny from all those teenage boys staring at our privates. The first guy to show up was a guy named Tony. Tony was muscular, orange, and had short spiky hair, even if we had kids we wouldn’t let him near them. He walked in holding a half empty bottle of beer, needless to say we showed him the door right away, and we never even uncrossed our legs. The next guy was who we called Mr. Average, slightly shorter than me, white, brown hair, same build as me, and even had a name of John Smith. During the interview Cindy uncrossed her legs, John looked down and immediately turned stark white. He stopped the interview, “Excuse me but ma’am you aren’t wearing any underwear. I don’t mean to be rude but you need to cover up lest the lord think ill of you.”. Deep in the no-man’s land of a virginal jungle. A flash of lightening. White light exploded in every inch of the universe. Crashing thunder shakes the trees. Your hammock sways violently in the howling wind. Lightning and driving rain. Rare in the green cocoon that you have called home for the last four months. Lightening is a thing of the distant latitudes. This kind of crashing lightening is almost unheard of. And the rain. Not that rain is rare. On the contrary. You live in rain. Every day it drifts down like soupy ether. You struggle to see the top of the three-canopy jungle. Driving rain stings your eyes and you look back toward your hammock. Normally the complex labyrinth of trees, vines, and bromeliads repels all attackers. Only the fine mist can make it through the emerald fabric. But today, for some reason, the pattern doesn’t hold. The lightening flashes and the thunder booms. You turn your face into the hammock and clutch the cords, holding on for life. You hold out.
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